Reasons
by girl-over-bored
Summary: Just an bit of an introspective. Read it and please Review. From the author of Dangerous Memories and Depth!


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GOB: I know, you want updates for my other fics, but I just had to post this one-shot! I know I haven't updated in ages, but I've been very angry at They deleted my new fic (What Kai WOULD Say!) twice even after I re-wrote it so it would fit the criteria. I am very mad right now.

Kai: No one cares.

Tala: No one ever cared.

GOB: _sniffs _ They are so mean... bishies... but mean.... Bad bishies...

Max: On with the one-shot.

GOB: By the way, it's a little weird... You've been warned...

Insert standard disclaimer 

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Kai walked across the courtyard in front of his school. He could feel the wind whip him as he walked across the slowly dieing grass, hearing the crunch of fallen leaves as he moved quickly. He could taste the crispness in the air, and the cold was only seen with the pale, misty cloud he created every time he breathed out. His left hand held his blade tightly, comforting himself with the warmth given to him from Dranzer, his ever-loyal bitbeast.

The world was so fresh in the early morning light.

v

Kai sighed softly, in a voice more silent than a whisper.

He watched as Tyson and Max bladed against one another in the morning sun, both filled with an insuppressible joy. Rei, Kenny and Hilary stood to one side cheering them on, filled with the same bountiful light. Their auras were all boldly one color, filled with happiness.

He couldn't help wishing he were as clear as they were. His own aura was a tangle of reds, blues, yellows, greens, oranges, blacks, grays, whites, purples, and more. No clear meaning, no clear thoughts, no clear soul.

v

"Who am I?" 

He didn't know.

His memories were precious few, but filled with agony. Agony of the heart, the mind, the body, and the soul. He was defeated. In the pieces of the past he still kept with him, he never had a single victory. Not in the past, not in the present, nor will he in the future.

That was his own belief.

He sat in the blazing noon heat, slightly conscious of the Bladebreakers eating noisily.

"The Bladebreakers..." 

It was always "The Bladebreakers" never "The Other Bladebreakers". It was just another tool he used to keep them separated from him. They had nothing to do with his life; they were meaningless. That was how it was and that was how it should be.

Or so he thought.

v

As always, he walked slightly behind them, creating yet another invisible barrier around himself. He continuously strived to fortify his walls, yet he could never perturb their seemingly obsessive desire to break them down, to find the truth.

The truth was too much for them to handle. They were far to innocent to be able to take the harsh realities of the world, the cruel intentions of the powerful, and the truly fleeting hope in the hearts of the weak.

It was better for them to remain blissfully ignorant, as always.

After all, ignorance is truly beautiful.

He wanted to keep them looking through rose-colored glasses as long as possible.

Innocence had to be protected.

v

Dinner was the same as always.

He would eat less than half of what was on his plate, and then escape to the peace and safety of the dark.

He never was that hungry, he had been trained to be more machine than human. His training had always been the only thing he had going for him. The only reason he had to strive forward, rather than drift away.

v

He ignored the calls of The Bladebreakers; they were better off without his presence. If he was going to protect their innocence, he couldn't taint them with the darkness that flowed through him. He had been tainted with the darkest stains, spending so many years learning how to survive all alone. Through the days he spent alone and cold. His scars ran deep into his tattooed body. He was broken for life.

It wasn't okay, but he was all right.

He missed the light, but was captured by darkness. He was hopeless.

But there was a new hope. The light of the innocent may prove to have been what he needed.

No one survives without reasons. Training wasn't enough for him. But...

He would protect the light, the same way he wished he could've protected himself. That was reason enough for him.

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GOB: Well, there you go. Please review, and I'll try to update DM and Depth ASAP.

Kai: I sound... odd...

Tala: No Argument there... GOB is touched in the head...


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